For those of you that don’t know, I’m currently applying to colleges, and part of that involves writing an essay or a “personal statement.”
A personal statement is basically a short essay that displays my character traits (dedication, efficiency, teamwork, resourcefulness) by “showing” and not “telling.”
If you’re a student currently applying to colleges, don’t worry. I’ll be rolling out a post about how to write an effective personal statement.
But before I do that, I want to ask you guys a question: What do you honestly think of my personal statement?
Please read my own personal essay, and tell me if it displays my personality and characteristics, or if it’s a dud. Just remember, this is the actual essay I am using to apply to colleges. You can read it below:
Whenever projects are assigned in school, I rarely get excited. However, when I saw the instructions “Build a model of Herot” on the instruction sheet, a part of me instantly awoke with eagerness. The concept of building something was exciting in and of itself, and I wanted to get started immediately. In that moment, I wanted to be like those students who brought in projects which were displayed behind glass. I wanted to be one of the students who elicited cries of joy from the teacher. I wanted to be one of the students who was exceptional, not expected.
Yet, as I mapped out the building’s structure in my head and my mind filled with plans, I knew I could not do it alone. How would the hall be constructed? What would make it look most authentic? What was my budget for the project? It was then that I turned to those who I knew could help me, my brother, a production design major, and my brother’s girlfriend, a local art student. Although I knew that the building of the hall would be my burden to bear, their expertise was invaluable.
I worked for two weekends and half a week, painting and plastering and cutting and gluing together a mass of materials with the faintest hope that the vision in my head would become reality. And as I choked on the fumes from six cans of spray paint, and scrubbed the plaster vigorously off my hands each night, I found myself enjoying every minute. I enjoyed the way one step could be completed as another step was in process, the way things fluidly came together, and the fixing of walls that continued to tumble.
Every completed plaster mold deserved a picture. Every wall built was a miniatures success, and every wrap of the foil around the molding stick elicited a high-five from my brother’s girlfriend, whom I was grateful to for help. It was the coming together of two people to accomplish a goal, and the joy of working furiously, working intelligently, to get something presentable made
I realized in building the project that those students who stayed up until 1 in the morning doing homework, and those students who made projects so good that others envied them, they had something in common. It was not the bragging rights of an A on the project or even the looks on others’ faces. What makes a project special is that in the experience of creating it, and in the feeling of completion that comes with a job not well, but exceptionally done. The feeling of a product worth presenting.
So what do you think? Did this convey my character traits well? Please share your thoughts and opinions below!
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